During the interim, I figured out our problems seem to have a lot to do with both being older. We are not training each other in a relationship. When I was first married to my kindly Ex I think we did d just that. we were both so young and happy to be with one another there was a lot we were willing to let go of to just be alone together.
Before him I had never figured out where the towels were going to go. We figured that out together. The same for dishes and rooms. We learned to live as adults with one another, so we came into the equation with little of our own mandatory items on our personal Must Have list.
Now I was in a new situation. Joel and I both have our own experiences and list of things we don't want to repeat and this makes us prone to be more territorial and aggressive.
But somewhere this last time I saw something that hit me to the core.
I can't stop thinking about him whether I am with him or away from him.
This was even true of the night we first met...years ago....when I was in a relationship with someone else.
There is something about Joel and I and the combination of who we are together that seems to make me happy. I guess I can't put a price on his value to me..but it seems pretty high.