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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Busy, Busy, Busy....

We had a pizza party for my fiance and it was part of a surprise...he did not expect it so it was fun for us isn't everday that someone you love turns 50 years old.

I have been trying to handle alot of things at once....I dropped the ball in Econ and now I have decided to just focus on finals and papers for school instead of visas and buying cars in Italy, even though the study abroad is far more important to me at this point.

Having one of my lifelong dreams come true has made me happier AND edgier lately...I pinned it down to being a bit afraid and nervous and once I realized that is what I was feeling, I became really clear that this is too good an experience to waste it on fear. Manny gave me a pep talk reminding me that fear, anticipation and excitement all act within the body the same way...and I realized he was nervous feeling is the same way I have felt before when I heard the jet engines fire up before heading down the runway!! I am really just thrilled and excited!

I have had to meditate alot to calm myself down from looking for things to be worried about too! I wake in the night with unfounded fears or worries that I have forgotten something big in my calculations, and I will wind up without maney at all while there.

...And this is from someone who is having every dream come true!! I won't allow it to hurt to have my wishes come true! This is good, happy and fun...and I am going to remember that...even in the midde of the night when my mind tries really hard to take that away...breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out......

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