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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Glitter Of Home…


     When Spencer and I flew so far in planes lately we often saw the glitter of lights and towns far below. We wondered as we looked out the window, what it would be like to live “down there” and call it home.


     Now my room looks out on the glittering lights of Sonora. I can’t help but see the hospital and a stretch of Highway 108 at night out my large domed windows, sparkling in the hills.  I share my room with Spencer. He gets the big bed. I am in a really large bean bag, which I specifically wrangled from my 11 year old since it is round. I think the 70’s made round beds seem way cooler then regular square ones.


    I have tormented my “brother” Mike by walking into his bedroom and wishing  our “wife” a goodnight as per our instructions from the John Tesh radio show. John says that couples who say goodnight and goodbye as well as kissing their mates for at least 15 seconds stay happier longer. The kissing part is something that I do not do with anyone these days, but it is fun to banter with Mike about how important goodnights are since we both compete for Ann’s attention. All part of the humorous life we have adapted to in this happy-go-lucky household. I think it would make a funny situation comedy.


     Oddly I do not miss the kissing aspect of life. I feel like it takes all of my effort to keep up with a job, school and Spencer…how did I ever have time for a relationship before anyway?


     I am still weighing out the meaning of the last few months where I have found my life gaining in momentum and moving in a new direction that makes sense to who I have shifted to in the meantime. I am counting down the months now to grad school, applying to places that make sense to where I want to wind up and trying my best to appreciate this small window here in Tuolumne County, my home. If I am lucky I have 9 months left here at home before Spencer and I head hopefully out of the country to other destinations for grad school.


      I never made it to the top of The Pass and now I think it is closed because of snow. I am home but hardly ever visit my old haunts at all.


     I have a regular income and love my access to so many people that I have known and loved for years but consider the hours in my monkey suit to be unpredictable and cumbersome to plan around for Spencer’s schooling and my own.


      But I still spend a good chunk of my days laughing. I love my studies but spend tons of time complaining about them.


      I think I am starting to shape another life that will be closer to what I have morphed into now. Hopefully I can start to hammer out more details as I apply around and see what I am moving towards now.

    As I sit and type away at a lush and large office within my room, I feel so luxurious and happy. Ann and Mike's kindness have given me the Italian/Welsh family life I learned to live abroad. I am presently within a family that watched the Giants win the World Series with me, and seem to enjoy my son and I like we do them.    


     When I think of my life before, I remember a lot of frustration.  Now I do not feel that same irritation. I am in a lovely home with no need of repairs.   Thanks to Mike I am no longer driving the clunker I talked about in the last story, so even that headache that plagued my life before is now gone. I no longer have the foibles of living in that house before Europe which had many problems in it from the water not running properly to half the house being unpainted.


     I guess it is nice to feel the glitter of home.






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