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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Looking Ahead....

Last night Spencer and I had the privilege of hanging out with more good friends and it was marvelous to find myself focused on my spiritual beliefs.

I also had a workmate pull my mind towards my less daily concerns a few days ago.

Mike and Ann, though practical people, are always pulled towards more thoughtful and playful ways as well too but until last night I had not realized that I have been so stuck in my daily life I have not even been following through with my more playful, fun beliefs.

I usually stop, examine and sort of guess towards what I want. I do it almost once a week usually, but I have been frightfully busy and never seem to have time to stop at all since coming home. During my brief moments of relaxation I have been walking with Spencer, Ann, Mike or James. It is so nice to do right here at the house, I have not gotten in the car once to walk at my usual hiking spots...even after returning home after over 4 years away!!

So here is my chance this morning to at least think about what I want now.

I want more time. I feel shorted on time then ever before. I feel pushed and pulled between school, work and working on Spencer's school work. After all I am a homeschooling mom. I am sure it will only be worse next term when I finish those science classes.

I see though that time is at a premium until I can figure out a way to relax into a rhythm that allows me more breathable space.

I see grad school choices that knock my socks off. I see myself studying something that will get me my dream job, working in an international capacity. I already have two choices that are at the top of my list. One is James Madison University's Florence program studying EU policies. That happens to combine beautiful Florence with something I have been studying for fun for years. I love guessing and watching the EU and how its policies effect the larger communities that it enfolds. But can I see myself studying policy all day? And working in only that field? I don't know since I have not seen much policy first hand. And I was thinking of being a Policy Analyst east when I was looking at the Monterey Institute of International Studies, that was on my A list of prospects. other interest is gaining an MA from Richmond University in London's Kensington District. I just had an Italian friend visit there and he tells me it is a ritzy place though. But as much as I really want to study International Relations in a year long program in the heart of London, I am afraid of the cost. Since my present school did not provide the promised funding, I am a bit paranoid about that part of the equation.

But both programs would get me into jobs BEFORE they were even over. And talk about the connections!! Oh and studying in either place makes my stomach feel so happy.  

I am still weighing out many factors though. Most of the time I look at my possible choices, I always run the city by Spencer and see if he would even want to live there for a year.

The plus side of all of our outrageously fun travel this year is how Spencer and I felt watching this laest James Bond release Skyfall. We laughed at the rain in the English shots. We both guessed at the countries and airports and I was rather impressed with the fact that it was an 11 year  old I was having the conversation with!! I think I have grown quite a bit and maybe even become more of the multi national person I have always wanted to be...and he seems to have been born that way! I learned something from the show that made me realize that I have studied enough Chinese to even survive the Shanghai Airport. I did not realize that they seem to use both pinyin and traditional characters on their signage there. I can read and study the pinyin which uses our letters...and I know quite a few Chinese words from my perpetual studies in that I would not be as lost as I thought.

I guess the other thing I need to find time to do is to mend fences with my family and see them more before we are off again. I have been distant since coming back home. But, during that year long study for my Masters...I will not be able to come home much I think. They say it is very intensive work. So if I get into a prgoram by next fall I have about 7 months left here, in my beloved county. I do love my family but have seen very little of them since settling at my friend's home...but time with my sisters, mom and dad and kids would be something I want for the holidays. I do miss my sister's mother's soothing voice and my father's biting wit. I miss my oldest son's bright humor and compassionate ways...and my neice's light-filled, fresh, outlook..and time wih my dear Ex Hubby and his new love would be a nice thing for the holidays...

Let's see if a job in the grocery biz allows much of that.. at the holidays...or if family feels like time wih is a funny never can tell what will happen until it happens...