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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Friday, January 18, 2013

An Assessment

I wrote this last weekend.

Some days you wake up and have to do an assessment.

How did I reach a point in 11 days of being so into this guy?

We dated on New Year's...and now we had a weekend away together...and on that date I looked around and saw that he is Fun.

This time instead of feeling terrified...I found myself feeling calmer...maybe even pacified and peaceful...how does that just happen?

I don't agree with everything he says...and he doesn't with me...but it is healthy and nice...when we disagree..sort of like a meeting of minds and then a backing off gently. Of course I hae to remember we are on our best behavior.

But most of the time he is speaking exactly what I am thinking and feeling. He is amazingly funny, cocky, thoughtful and intelligent. I seem to have lost track of my list of REQUIREMENTS in a man. That is a list I have been working on and adding to after each guy since Gordon, my Ex hubby and best friend. I am pretty sure though that this new guy fulfills most of what I said if not all of it.

My son helped me craft "the latest" additions to our list while we sat in the sun in the private yard of our little home in Italy.

"Has to like what we say instead of being irritated by us."
"Has to like kids and Disneyland."
"Has to be appreciative."
"Has to want to play and have fun."

I remember adding that he had to have his own kids at home so he would "get" how important kids are to the daily life of a household.

"Has to  appreciate us."

I had to think about that for some time.

How had I become so scarred that I stayed in a relationship where I would even think of writing that afterward?

How strange to find myself, feeling appreciated, honored and loved?!?!

I am amazed at how light every conversation is and how little I have thought about staking out a claim or territory. With my new guy I can simply be...I have no desire for approval or fear of disapproval. WOW...
 

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