A Blog about a cheerful optimist...
one that has overcome foreclosure, gone back to college for the first time in 27 years, gotten an AA now and has almost acquired her BA and believes that everything always works out for the best because it really does.
I am happy. When I lost the house I did not know all the cool adventures that awaited me, but I am glad I went along with what happened, returning to school, going to Monterey Peninsula College and getting my AA, then moving to OR and getting into Oregon State University....moving back to CA to Santa Cruz...then going to Europe in 2012 for 3 months!! I loved Italy and the UK. I loved being away from home. I also love being back at home...off again!
When my date came to pick me up from my
house, (Make that Mike and Ann’s place), on New Year’s Eve, I had already been
dressed for hours. For a real date, (to be honest…these are rare and far
between for me) I had bought special underwear, (to reduce any lines in my
dress), and fresh mascara and eye liner. I had even tried on a few dresses
before choosing my black English heels and a smooth lined burgundy dress. I had
been careful to make sure that I had actually applied foundation to my face,
which is usually something I never get around to doing. Basically I went “all
out” for this date.
He made it worth every moment by caring
about how nice I looked. Even though he had been busy with huge and important
activities all day, he had gone out of his way to keep me posted on the
countdown to getting ready too. I smiled when he sent me a text about getting the
reservations at the restaurant he wanted.
When he arrived to pick me up he found me
with Mike and Ann by the bonfire. They had been building it for the party they suddenly
found themselves hosting. The front of my legs, which faced the fire practically
roasted while the backs of them were blue with the chilly, icy evening air.
I was swept off my feet and found myself
in a favorite restaurant that he somehow magically divined as a place to take
Everything was perfect…the conversation….the
honest openness. I know more then once I found myself raining on my own parade
by feeling paralyzed with fear. I can feel it deep inside. Mike, always rather
astute, even said it aloud to me, “You sound like you are starting to fall for
this guy, Terri”.
The fact that I felt fear told me oodles
about my own intimacy problems but it could not seem to squelch the much more
powerful layer of blissful, playful, fun I was experiencing on the evening.
We talked for so long. I could talk about
anything and everything. He did not always understand my take but he carefully
considered everything crazy that came out of my mouth with an open mind, and
oddly, with an open heart. This was a far cry from the off-the-cuff rejection I
had grown accustomed to in my last 4 year long romance. It was funny how much
he got out of me by asking lots of questions about my take on things.
He said it was so “easy” to be around me. I
guess it has been awhile since I have been with someone who was so like minded.
The last guy I was with had many similarities but oh, so many more differences,
that I think I had grown accustomed to a much more tactical, if not hostile
attitude towards romantic partners. This night I was suddenly in an environment
that required no pre-planning or carefully thought out structure in my
verbalizing. I could just be in the moment in ways I had not been romantically
for a long time and it was incredibly freeing.
I found myself laughing harder and longer
then I have in a long time. I also couldn’t help but feel shock and surprise at
how relaxing it is to be with someone who said things I was thinking so often.
As a psychic, I am used to living in a world where I am alone in reaching out
to try to make the other person feel understood and appreciated. Yet with no
obvious effort, this guy repeatedly expressed exact words I was already
thinking in my head as if he was in their with me. Now I know why I unnerve
people so often.
In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s
character spends months reliving the same day over and over. Since he is in
love with a girl he works with in that specific day, he spends his days
memorizing everything she likes, wants and needs. By the end of the movie he
has turned into her perfect guy since he has built up many of the same
interests through living and enjoying them for so long.
This date seems to have been living his own
life but coincidently he has experienced many of the same things I have…and
what we don’t share in common we seem willing to explore with conversation…sort
of sharing our separate interests. That makes this guy thrilling to say the
We were so preoccupied at the stroke of
midnight on this New Year’s date, we had not even noticed though we were wide
awake. Now that’s the way I want to bring in EVERY New Year. What a blast!