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This is what happens to people when they keep their chin up....eventually they succeed at stuff....

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Hard is not Easy....

Stirrings of change are everywhere in my life and I feel like my biggest inclination is to hang on to the old with all my heart.

I have been all over the board this year...in fact it might seem like I am an adventurous soul's adventure but it is really closer to the truth to think of me as a housewife who was thrown out of the life she adored. I have been happiest when my feet were solidly planted with no sign of movement except to venture to the store and back and spend my afternoon making cookies.

This year I spent a season on another continent...lived with foreign cultures until they became the "normal" in my mind, was ripped from Santa Cruz...and a man I loved who did not apparently need me anymore...worked at a job that made my body sick...and had the time of my life. I would do it all again in a hearbeat!! It is exhiliarating to spend life on the edge instead of in the safe zone!!

I can't emphasize enough how much I would not have thought any of those ideas are even interesting and they were great in every way. The break up...the living with other people and cultures until I felt like my own peeps were the other and they were the norm...I would in a second live again wih my friends in the little Italian town on the coast of Italy...I would count myself as lucky to spend another 30 days of rain living with my beautiful, lively young cousin and her son in Wales, being lucky enough to swim in the circles that include the most beautiful areas in the world...Porth...and Italy and San Francisco.

Maybe my requests about life switched somewhere along the line...I think I stopped having to control in stone what I wanted and allowed the more open wish of "what Bigger Forces think is best..." Sort of like that Chipmunk's song, "Santa, bring us what you think is best..."

When I let go and allowed that...I seem to have gotten some harder stuff but way more fun if you ask me...is that one of the secrets to life?

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