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I can't get over my luck!! This life is one absolutely awesome adventure!! Can it get any better than this?

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Face to Face....

Today was the first day since our breakup that I got to see Joel face to face.

I had wanted to have a buffer...you know kids...other people....but the Universe seemed to be conspiring against me. I was alone tapping away at the computer when he strolled into my favorite local place, Schnoogs....

I was wearing sweats, my OSU  jacket with sporty colors splashed all over it...my glasses, and a stack of books all around me along with pencils and pads of paper. I was not at all social looking...bookish and nerdly...but he was glad to see me...and looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the room, (Coincidently one of my favorite Flight of the Conchords songs).

It was bad enough that he was a nice mix of charming and humble....but he laughed regularly...not nervous at all...but genuine...and easy...like he always does....

His tone is a sort of surfer, laid back, mountain-y, snowboarding kind of sound. It is endearing to say the least.

I admitted our house has been having internet problems and I have had to use the cafe's faster connection to get caught up...then I slipped in my joke of how bad it was to lose the boyfriend with the great internet connection at the same time that our reception got weaker at home....

There was that laugh again.

How could I resist that laugh?

We both admitted wrongs...we both admitted rights....

He had me laughing at us...and at me and even his take...in seconds...he does have a great sense of humor...My favorite line from Roger Rabbit is his wife's explanation of why she loves him so, "He Makes Me Laugh!"...with that throaty, loving, gush about his charm...she gives away the question of the whole movie...whether she cares about her rabbit husband or not...but she tips her hat with that line- she is completely in love with her guy.

I let that line flow through my head as he explained something I should have probably paid attention to...but...my mind was elsewhere...Gosh he sure makes me laugh.

I agreed after a long conversation in the business to head over to his place to use his internet. When I got there I saw the two Lego figurines my son had made of us...

As I left angrily collecting my dog's food and computer over a week ago, I had let my eyes rest on a dark haired Lego girl (Me) who had been standing toe to toe on his mantel facing a strawberry blond Lego boy wearing skis that Spencer had declared to be Joel. Today...Lego Joel was on his side and facing away. Joel said that the Legos had been in different states of facing away from one another since I had left. I laughed at the way things in a household work though micro and macro means.

My love story just kept playing out this week...amidst long thoughtful talks with Ann and Mike....listening to The Hobbit on audio tape with my son...

I found myself finally meeting him face to face.

I felt alot more appreciation just being near him this time...after all I had kissed this whole thing goodbye...and during the silence I was convinced that our kids could not even play together anymore, which was really sad since they were the ones who got us together.

Hey...I think I figured out what can fill in that huge gender gap I was whining about...the division between both parties in a couple.

He sure wasn't interested in winning and neither was I. When we met face to face we were grateful.

We studied alongside each other. Carefully avoiding saying anything stupid but definitely hashing out gently many of the areas where we had not agreed before. Now the stakes were higher...we knew this time we had flat out lost each other...


This...whole adoring him thing...might be a good way for me to express myself better....or hear him better...or have him cut me some slack...or see we mean business when we are embroiled in a big argument.

He said he figured it was his fault...for not listening to Mike...who had clearly warned him to "not to hurt" me....

After I turned out to be so fragile...he said it occurred to him, Mike was absolutely right...

 

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