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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Friday, February 8, 2013


My 11 year old and I process with when we are "quiet" we wind up not "thinking".

I don't like it...makes me feel lost and confused.

I think he is meant to grow up to be a lawyer...I feel the same about his brother and sister.

They are careful thoughtful people and I thought I was too...but lately I have had to re-evaluate.

I am also a jump in and do it kind of person.

Hearing my guy's perspective sort of put me in a light I am not proud of...but I have had problems with
giving the other person ALOT of slack and wondering why I put up with such uncomfortable issues for so long.

There is a fine line between judgment and discernment.

From my perspective the latest  Handsome Face was cruel and silent for the previous 8 days. After repeated tries at contact....(I had even suggested a counselor-which was met with a luke warm reponse!)...I gave up and moved in other directions...I finished my application to my first choice in grad schools.

Then he popped back in while I was still feeling good about an accomplishment.

From his perspective...he was "quiet" for 3 days. During that time his grandmother had died. This was not some distant grandmother who rarely saw him but  a grandmother he helped regularly tend and care for on a close to weekly basis.

He didn't, of course view himself as "cruel" but somewhat frustrated and confused. He needed a breather while he was processing his grandmother, (which is frankly a BIG deal no matter how you slice it- my throat still catches when I look at pictures of my Beloved Grandma Helen, grinning and looking classy like my sisters!), and our argument.

Makes total sense from both sides.

How do men and women get so far apart?

He is a good guy...but then again...every man is a good guy in my book...everyone is love-able and kind somewhere.

Every woman is good too...

I have enemies...but I would do anything to protect most of them in a heartbeat, (which also might explain my poverty and other issues that keep popping up in my life! You can care too much I now believe..)

I like to think that every character I have ever met has a reason for being where they are and deserves more then a fair dose of slack when it comes to my judgment.

He didn't remember saying all he said. He was sorry for it though. He was surprised to find that while he was juggling out of town relatives, family obligations, sorrow over his grandma and figuring out why we were mad at each other...that I had checked out completely.

I felt insensitive.

I can see his point of heart is just glad to have my cell chime his cheery song now as we tentatively reach out for each other with a much deeper appreciation.

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