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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Soil Science and Other Frustrations

I woke with a start this morning at 2:16 am. This is typical. If you lived my crazy life since foreclosure you would find yourself waking at all sorts of odd times too.

"Where the heck am I?"

I wasn't in my bean bag back at my friend's house. I could hear my 12 year old somewhere nearby so I was able to lay around and get my bearings instead of hunt him down and assure myself he was fine and breathing.

In the last 4 weeks I have been trying to do a soil assignment for my very first ever Ag Science class.

I have always wanted to know more about planting soils and this was a good match for me when I signed up  for it since I love gardening and feel it is a massively important subject. In reality it is way off track.....

Yet I have been doing so poorly in the class I had to sign up for a sort of pass/fail situation. I am almost ready to graduate. This was sort of a required last leftover. Oregon universities need 3 sciences for BA work while my CA world only required one for my subject. Here I am in my last term finishing off with the only biology class I could swing.

Why am I doing poorly? If you read are one of my Facebook friends there is no real reason given in my posts....just a chain of whining about being behind in Soil science and the misery of spending hundreds of dollars this term on dirt and rocks for the labs alone.

But there are very good reasons. Just like people in real life we all walk around judging one another's situations with the scanty information we hold and wonder why others aren't keeping up on their own stuff. But let's face it....WE ALL HAVE STUFF GOING ON....

I am homeless yet again and I have been in 4 weeks of class each time turning in my assignment from a new very different location in California. I have been in the rocky foothills with a loamy soil for week 1. There I turned in an assignment that required a 30 page report on the soils of that region.

During week 2 I found myself in the Bay area...the soil was very different and my assignment was not completed because samples of soil were in complete. I didn't know if it was OK to dig a hole in the ground there...up to 4 feet deep.

Week 3 I was at my daughter's place in another area of the higher foothill regions. There was no place to dig a pit for my next level of the same assignment assessing soils.

Now I am in week 4...I have not turned in my crucial labs since Week 1, but there is a turn taking place and it is reflected in my feelings as of last night....

I had to stay here since my homeschooler has intense Star Tests  taking place back in Sonora.

After a lot of driving, sweating, moving and lifting, we came home to find Joel insisting we all go for a swim.

On the shore of a lake, my boyfriend, suggested I consider staying here...pushing off my sudden move to the coast for grad school until I am closer to my start dates. In the friendly sunshine he reminded me that I can get more aid from the school on covering costs and getting a job on campus. He also practically pointed out that I could use the time at his place to relax, finish my last term and stay with him indefinitely until August.

I was able to take deep breaths for the first time in weeks. And it was nice that he sounded like he wanted me to stick around for a bit longer. I already know that I really enjoy being around him and his kids. So does my youngest who is almost pressuring us to stick together.

But the first thought I had when I was startled awake was the realization that I could dig a hole here and do my assignment correctly. Not only do I crave more time with Joel but I could actually get my work done on my assignments.

The only downside is that we have not been able to spend more then a month together without a blowout.

It makes sense.....for now...


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