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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Changes Can Hurt....Missing Tom, Stuff and Language Opportunities....

About 15 months ago...Manny burned some food while I was in Europe...I just cleaned those pots yesterday. It has been along time since I have had my own pots and pans out. Though I have always been pretty easy going with what people did with my stuff....leaving my dogs and cat without food or care and my piano and everything else without a closed door between it and the world kind of ranked as a heinous crime....not that I am holding a grunge....I just remembered I was irritated with him when I washed whatever was burned onto the pot.

Last weekend I said goodbye to one of the funniest people I have ever known. In my whole life I have only had two uncles....in Arabic he was the only person I could call "aumie" which means father's brother.

My dad only had one brother and now he is gone. But his side of the family had the most kids on it and it was strange for my own children to find anyone near their own age on the family tree but their one close cousin they see all the time.

For this last weekend we gathered to honor my Uncle.

Aside from being able to experience being a family again....I also got some pots and pans...and my sister knew I had not had the cash to restock my kitchen so she provided us with 2 bags of groceries she raided form her own pantry....I gratefully took them and carefully filled some shelves with items no kitchen should be without. I also brought down movies that we own and clothes...precious clothes.

I had been wearing a few suits to school every day.....I desperately needed sweatshirts and pants in this land of fog and wet air. My son was excited enough to care about having more then a few T-shirts to wear again.

I can't really say I am having an easy time but I am flying through my Arabic even doing the worst in the class, I have to be proud when I compare it to my progress before....I found my notes from my previous class and we have passed where we were when I had stopped my Arabic last time at over a year's worth of studies....That is amazing when you consider I started this class on June 17th!! What a productive month!!! I am thinking in Arabic now to the point of it rolling around in my head. I go in for a talk to the head of the department tomorrow for an early morning meeting and I am going to admit that my priority needs to change in order to pass the test in Spanish this late August. I think if I had my way I would throw myself into all the tutorials and push for speaking to make sure my head is hearing and thinking in Arabic....I also think I should push for more Arabic news and kid's shows when I am not in class....but I also have to plug into the class priority of grammar...I double checked and this grade does not count towards any of my courses in the MA program so I am free to prioritize....

Anyway I thought that all three tied together in my head...my changing relationship with old and dear family...letting go of my past resentments with a love gone wrong...I think it is time to stop feeling cynical with  the past romances and the crazy turns they took too....also it is wise to analyze all of these things from a less emotionally charged place....honestly I just feel so grateful for clothes instead of noticing my pots were misused....and to be at my dream school studying two languages is a bonus in anyone's book....and to have gathered more people into my life to love....feels like a good reason to feel good not bad....I think it is time to be out there more and take more chances...I am pretty sure I will get hurt again...but I can also have a blast too in the process....what is that country song's lyrics, "I hope you dance!" ....I guess I choose dancing....! 

2 comments:

  1. Terri:
    I just read this and you are truly an incredible lady. You have come so far and obviously had to work hard to get where you're at. Your children and family should be so proud of you. I'm proud of you! You are an inspiration. Think positive. I remarried at the age of forty-nine and it's the most passionate, sincere relationship I've ever experienced ... so don't think negative pertaining to that because if it can happen to me it can surely come your way. Further, isn't it interesting the things we appreciate as we age? Sometimes it's inexpensive things that can bring us so much joy. Sometimes it's even the priceless things ( you cannot buy with money). We are blessed to have lived this long and my philosophy now is the words to an old Frank Sinatra song that was the last dance/song played at my wedding a year ago. "The Best Is Yet To Come". - If you haven't heard it before listen to it. It's a fun song and life should be fun. Hugs to you.

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  2. Stormie!! I just found your comment!! Thank you for your point old view and for your cheerfulness!! I remember when we hung around one another in high school you always had me feeling confident as you cracked me up with your sense of humor....you are more upbeat and energetic than I....we have to have tea together! one day!

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