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Success, Failure...some of my greatest failures have been a springboard to my greatest successes...the terms are truly fluid.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Hmmmmm, things that make you think...,


I have been living a dream...a perfect world mix of fun, loving family....intellectual stimulation....

I was so zealous that I stood dressed up, book in hand and excited in front of an Arabic class that didn't even meet yesterday...it was worth it to make sure I didn't miss my chance to dive back in to the Arabic language...now that I have my Spanish teacher's permission...

Last night I had a conversation....that had me realizing however I am not regularly living in the moment as much as I can.....actually the whole last week I found myself really living freely in the moment...I was treated to a lovely trip on my school's fall break that felt somehow life changing...

....and getting to let my walls down with someone in a healthy way...I kind of got emotional...it doesn't have to be a romance but it has wandered in that direction...

Yesterday was my first day on the job...

I watched a sunset on the beach with a classmate/buddy...and I realized that on my campus I have been living the World Peace dream...

I have reasons to worry...lots of them...Obama care means I can revisit the idea of a surgery I was supposed to have last January...

Yet I am comforted by letting down my walls....telling my story to sympathetic ears....to someone who can be a good friend at least...and also has the potential for a fun romance to lace through my busy college life...someone whose story is also interesting...

It isn't until I answer questions honestly....and really hear who I am through another's eyes...that I can see that I am doing pretty well...and that my adventures, though positive, have actually been somewhat sad and crushing at times.

At times in life we wander into a safe harbor and last night I did just that...haven't even met the guy in person, but over the phone his voice said just the right things...he lulled me into a sense of security ...enough that I answered honestly...with any inner pain included....I just felt "safe and sound"....like that Capital City song...

Strange that I opened up so completely to a supposedly shy guy...but I did...he did not know that I was parked in town after dropping a school buddy off...sitting in my car alone...confiding my life...and innermost moments to a stranger...he asked just the right questions with just he right amount of  interest...

I had been already in a confidential mood since I was talking to my mom when "he" called....I stopped in midsentence..."Mom!" I breathed into the phone..."that cute lawyer guy is calling....I've gotta go...."

....and there was something about his voice....something undefinable...

I don't know what is in store...he has just as much potential as the others had to crush me...or act dismissively when we meet in person...or stick me with the dinner's bill at the end of the night.....or fizzle away with a lack of me initiated contact....but he also might be a good friend...and he already proved a loving confidante...and that is an awesome start of something isn't it?

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